It's a matter of days or even hours until your body will give up your soul. I've accepted that fact after I said I loved you through Video Chat on Skype. Is it too selfish for me to ask you to stay alive until I am physically in your presence to say it once again?
After long thought and prayer, I realized my family has been blessed to be given this extended time to spend as much time with you, make amends, and express our love on your last days on earth. Many deaths are so sudden and never anticipated. However, our family has been given the chance to let you know, we are ready to let you go in peace. Nanay, I love you.
Whether you believe it or not, my grandma has been visited by plenty of spirits these past few weeks. They keep asking her to leave with them, but she would refuse for the sake of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Honestly, I'm not surprised that she has been having dreams of my deceased relatives or shadows standing in front of her doors. She's probably the most religious person I know, who never had to speak God's Word because His presence would always reflect all of her actions.
I've shed so many tears by thinking and reminiscing of my childhood and early preteen years that were blessed with her. But the fact is, they ARE blessings.
-She used to ONLY take me grocery shopping out of my siblings because I was the only child who behaved going out in public. We would ride the Vallejo and SF buses to various places. Each escapade came with a reward for carrying her bags. She would buy me a new coloring book. TRUST by the time I was 7, I had at least 30 coloring books, lined up in my bookcase.
-She taught me how to shuffle and deal cards. I would laugh so hard when she would shuffle the "bridge" on my knee because it would tickle me like crazy.
-She would file my nails until I said my nails didn't feel rough after they were freshly cut. I would always lie saying "No they are still sharp" just so she could keep going.
-Every day after school, she would fix my long hair by copying designs from a book of hairstyles I had. It never came out perfect, but I loved it anyway.
-She would place me on my kitchen counter as she made pancakes for my family and only made small mini pancakes for me.
-Marienda (afternoon snack time) was a MANDATORY meal growing up. She made sure I NEVER went hungry.
-I was the only child who was consistently forced to keep my room clean if I wanted to play outside... I'm pretty sure that's the cause of my slight OCD of cleanliness.
-Every time I talked to her whether in person or on the phone, she always asked me who was "courting" me. She never knew the name of my 8th grade boyfriend, so she always referred him as "boy with the boots" LOL
-She made the BESTTTTTT fried chicken in the world. Middle school besties, I KNOW ya'll know what I'm talkin about! She stayed making us food.
-She taught me how to make rosaries when I was 5 years old. We would make them on my living room floor. (She never really liked to sit on couches, she would always sit on the floor) She made my first rosary & I've kept it in my wallet/purse my whole life. It comes with me everywhere.
Man, the list can go on. Nanay, you will be a beautiful guardian angel. I pray that your soul will forever be in peace. I ask that you continue to watch over me, my children and their children. I love you. You will always be the strongest woman I know, my Second mother.
